Remeber Me by Kinsella Sophie
Author:Kinsella, Sophie
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Remeber Me
Chapter 12
Okay, I need my memory back. I've had it with amnesia. I've had it with people telling me they know more about my life than I do. It's my memory. It belongs to me.
I stare into my eyes, reflected an inch away in the mirrored wardrobe door. This is a new habit of mine, to stand right up close to the mirror so the only bit I can see is my eyes. It's comforting. It makes me feel as if I'm looking at the old me. “Remember, you moron,” I instruct myself in a low, fierce voice. “Re-mem-ber.”
My eyes stare back at me as though they know everything but won't tell. I sigh, and lean my head against the glass in frustration. In the days since we got back from the show apartment, I've done nothing but immerse myself in the last three years. I've looked through photo albums, watched movies I know I've “seen,” listened to songs that I know the old Lexi heard a hundred times But nothing's worked. Whichever mental filing cabinet my missing memories are locked into, it's pretty sturdy. It's not about to fly open just because I listen to a song called “You're Beautiful” by James... someone or other. Stupid secretive brain. I mean, who's in charge here? Me or it? Yesterday I went to see that neurologist, Neil. He nodded sympathetically as I poured everything out, and scribbled loads of notes. Then he said it was all fascinating and he might write a research paper on me. When I pressed him, he added that maybe it would help to write out a timeline, and I could go and see a therapist if I liked. But I don't need therapy. I need my memory. The mirror is misting up from my breath. I'm pressing my forehead harder against the mirror, as though the answers are all inside the mirror-me, as though I can get them if I concentrate enough...
“Lexi? I'm off.” Eric comes into the bedroom, holding a DVD, out of its box. “Darling, you left this on the rug. Sensible location for a DVD?” I take the disc from him. It's the Ambition EP 1 DVD that I started watching the other day.
“I'm sorry, Eric,” I say quickly, taking it from him. “I don't know how it got there.” That's a lie. It got there when Eric was out and I had about fifty DVDs all scattered over the rug, together with magazines and photo albums and candy wrappers. If he'd seen it, he'd have had a heart attack.
“Your taxi will be here at ten,” says Eric. “I'm off now.” “Great!” I kiss him, like I do every morning now. It's actually starting to feel quite natural. “Have a good day!” “You too.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Hope it goes well.” 206 “It will,” I say with confidence. I'm going back to work today, full-time. Not to take over the departmentobviously I'm not ready to do that. But to start relearning my job, catching up on what I've missed.
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